Kaarnama (1979) Part IV – MAA and THE END

Before intermission, the vilaayti twin Shyam (Shashi Kapoor) was romancing Dhanno (Tanuja) and the desi twin Gopal (also Shashi Kapoor) had just left a drunk Kamini (Sharmila Tagore), to go to Kashmir to figure out why everybody was mysteriously interested in his maternal relative. I must warn you that this is a very looong post (with spoilers), since I’ve had compress the entire second half of the film in one post. For lack of space, I’ve had to concentrate on the main plot and neglect such delights as Helen trying to seduce Mr. Mehra (Shammi Kapoor), Dwarka (Pran, now Dilawar in Pakistani Intelligence) being smuggled into India, Shalu (Bindu) and her hubby Dheeraj (Ranjeet) sharing a cute romantic interlude in the police station where they’re both police officers, etc.

Kaarnama (1979) part III – the mystery edition

With the vilaayti twin on his way to his watan (country), you’d think that the found part of the lost-n-found formula is almost about to be accomplished. Well, you’d be wrong. Do not underestimate MDbhai’s genius… We leave Shyam on the plane, drinking heavily, with the mysterious lady X (Sharmila Tagore) keeping a sharp lookout a few rows behind.

We fly into India, ahead of the dimpled-duo, to meet the other twin Gopal. As I told you, MD caused him to grow up into a small-time theatre actor. Well, just as we go to find him, he’s landed his first starring role, and rehearsals are in full swing. We come upon him, in his shiny military uniform, playing Napolean Bonaparte, at Waterloo. And we realise why he isnt a big star yet, nor likely to be – he fluffs his lines something terrible.

Napolean (roaring): Wellington kameene, sherni ka doodh pasand karta hai to saamne aa (Wellington rascal, if you like tigress’s milk, come here!)

Wellington, not finding the right cue (which should have been agar maa ka doodh piya hai to… if you’ve drunk your mother’s milk), forgets his lines: Err… I prefer cow’s milk.

Parvarish (1958) – upliftment of fallen MEN!

Anyone who’s seen enough old Bollywood films knows about fallen women – the nightclub dancer, the tawaif, the gangster’s moll, etc. The deserving among these debased women usually get a leg up into higher strata of society where they get the privilege of wearing vermilion in their hair partings and no longer have to wear the dreaded ghungroo. There seem to be several of these fallen and subsequently uplifted women in Bollywood. But seldom does one come across a similar upliftment of fallen men. Thats what makes this movie so unique – it takes two men out of the kotha (filmi brothel) and makes them respectable!

Pocketmaar (1974)

A romance? An action movie? A 70's style masala blockbuster? A comedy? An out-and-out entertainer? Well, Pocketmaar tries to be all of these and fails miserably on each count! I have just spent a good portion of my precious weekend watching this movie and if I am acerbic in my criticism of this film, I hope you will take into account my wasted Saturday afternoon.

The plot: Shankar (Dharmendra) is a small-time pick-pocket and his partner in crime is the myopic Sundar (Mehmood). Together the two happily live off the pockets of Bombay commuters when Shankar happens to rescue the blind Ganga (Azra) from goons intent on raping her. He takes her home and cares for her and her new-born baby. Lest you doubt the poor woman's virtue, she did get married and then deserted by her husband. OK, now that we have all been assured of Ganga's purity, lets move on.