Mere Humsafar (1970)- four rapes and a romance!

Well, "four rapes" is an exaggeration. There is only one rape. The other three are attempts by essentially "good" men who, once their attempted rapes are foiled, turn into their would-be rape-victim’s best friends and protectors!! Why did I persist in watching such a bizarre film? Well, partly because the story was engaging to begin with, partly because I love Sharmila Tagore and was intrigued to see her almost-pairing with Balraj Sahni, and partly because, having started, I wanted to see where it was going! The film is the strangest mix of awful and engaging, with the awful far outweighing the engaging.

My favorite filmi Mr. Rights!

The Valentine spirit is everywhere. From heart-shaped, diamond-studded pendants on special offer, to heart-shaped candy in heart-shaped boxes, and long-stemmed red roses - its hard to escape the “romantic” season. Naturally, that made me think of my filmi Valentine. An exhaustive search down memory lane turned up rather less material than I had hoped for! Most Bollywood heroes are too busy fighting bad guys and making up to their dost and/or Maa, to do more than sing the requisite “eve-teasing” number and romantic duet with their heroines. Any cherishing of the beloved, done in Hindi films, is usually done by the woman. Fortunately for us women, Hindi Cinema does bring us some men of substance and beauty, who take time off from saving the world (and/or bromancing their buddies) to pay attention to their lady-loves. Needless to say, thats where I looked for my filmi Mr. Right. And here they are – all top ten of them, in no particular order:

Seema (1955) - Redemption should be this good…

I cant remember a time when I havent loved this film. As a child I shed buckets of tears over the heroine’s tale of woe, blissfully wallowed in her happily-ever-after, and of course, followed her lead to fall in love with Balraj Sahni’s sensitive, compassionate and oh-so-empathetic social worker. My grown up self sheds no more tears, but the rest of my reactions remain the same!

Gauri (Nutan) is an orphan brought up by her boozing-gambling Uncle Kashinath (Shivraj) and his shrewish wife (Praveen Paul). Like Cinderella, Gauri does all the housework while her Aunt verbally and physically abuses her. Gauri also earns money for the family by working in a rich household where the mistress abuses her.

Masala-noir... Black Cat (1959)

A while ago, our friendly neighbour, the Sultan of Pitustan held a hunk-fest and released a list of Bollywood's top 10 hunks. The surprise winner was Balraj Sahni. Aye, the man who drove a rickshaw and channeled the angst of the dispossessed in Do Bigha Zameen, wore a dhoti and glasses in the true "Unkil" tradition and sacrificed ad infinitum in several family dramas - Bhabhi (1957), Choti Behen (1959), Bhabhi Ki Chudiyan (1961), etc. What is so attractive about him? He was a great actor, very good looking, gave great talks at my favorite University, was an acclaimed writer, and an overall good guy in the bad bad bad world of Bollywood. Is that why I echo Sultan Pitu's liking? Nope. The guy did romance like no-one else and always played such intellectually idealistic characters that its hard not to like him! But that isnt all - he could also do masala and carry it off with great panache as I discovered in this unknown movie I stumbled across recently. OK OK, So I will stop rhapsodizing about Sahni saab, already. Without further ado, readers, I give you the Black Cat.

Bombay is terrorised by a series of ingenious robberies engineered by the master thief "Black Cat". The Master Thief has an organisation that is more efficient and deadly than the city police (lets face it - it could hardly be less efficient than them!) and has a network of spies and informants second to none. The network alerts the Black Cat to Number 14's potential treachery and the unfortunate 14 soon ceases to be.

Neend Hamari Khwaab Tumhare (1966)

Based on the short story Saanch Ko Aanch (Truth in Trouble!) by famous Pakistani satirist Shaukat Thanvi, Neend Hamari Khwaab Tumhare (My Sleep and Your Dreams) tells the tale of an ambitious social climber with gentle humor and tons of masala.

Ajjoo Hajjaam (Ajjoo the barber - Om Prakash) strikes it lucky with a lottery win and installs himself as Nawab Ajmatullah Khan Farooqui in Delhi. His rags-to-riches story however, doesnt quite go according to plans. He manages to worm his way into Delhi's nawabi society presided over by the extremely-high-in-the-instep Khan Bahadur (a very dashing looking Balraj Sahni) and his cultured, pious Begum (Nirupa Roy). Ajjoo's position in high society however, is under constant threat from his delightfully uncouth wife Begum Ajmatullah Farooqui (Manorama). He hires Miss Pal (Shashikala) to teach his wife the ways of fashionable society, but the lady remains unrepentantly pedestrian in her language and manners. He finally gives up on her education and lets it out that she suffers from mental problems.