The Other End of the Line (2008) – A call centre romance!

Granger Woodruff (Jesse Metcalfe) is in trouble, deep trouble. Not only is he about to lose a crucial advertising contract, but his latest credit card bills are going to cost him a lot more than several grand in money – he will lose his heart to his credit card company! Strange as this may sound, it is TRUE. All you cute singletons with credit-card problems, read the following and be aware of the evils of your situation.

Granger is at the end of a really bad day. He almost lost a prestigious ad contract for the Hawksin Hotel because hotel supremo Kit Hawksin (Larry Miller) didnt like to see passion onscreen (is he the chairman of the Indian censor board?). And then his credit card company called to let him know that his card was suspended because of suspicious activity in his account!

Its not all bad news though. The company voice at the other end of the line – Jennifer David – is very helpful. She works with him night and day to untangle his jumbled credit. Such close association (even through phone) is bound to lead to err… more association. One thing leads to another and Granger makes a date to see Jennifer in San Fransisco.

What Granger doesnt know is that Jennifer-of-San-Fransisco is really Priya Sethi (Shriya Saran), a bright young Indian woman working at his credit card company’s Bombay call centre. In addition to her brightness, Priya is also blessed with a lively and very romantic imagination. While she guides him through the maze of his credit card bills, she also begins to find out more about him (google search apparently turns up his photo and vital statistics!) and begins to nurse romantic feelings for him. Her helpful friend Zia (Tara Sharma) reminds her often enough of her engagement – to no avail!

After one stifling day spent in the company of her colorless fiancé (Neel Tolani) and his domineering Mom (Vandana Gupte)’s company, Priya decides to take a romantic break in San Fransisco. She flies off to 'Frisco one fine day, leaving a very baffled and worried family behind. What makes her flight so much more romantic is that she doesnt have to deal with visa hassles or any nasty American Immigration officials (a perk of working for Hollywood?!).

So Priya is in 'Frisco to keep Jennifer’s date with Granger, but she chickens out when she sees him. He is too cute to be told 'Jennifer' is Priya-pretending-to-be-an-American-in-Bombay? Luck is on her side, though. She bumps into Granger in a hotel lobby (literally) and he is much struck by her. He asks her out to dinner and gets to know the beautiful nurse Priya, visiting 'Frisco for a family function. Yes, she lies again!

Just when it looks like Granger and Priya might be getting ready to embark on a happily-ever-after, several obstacles simultaneously erupt in the path of their budding romance. Granger’s ex-girl friend Emory (Sara Forster) turns up wanting a reconciliation at the wrong moment. And Priya’s worried parents (Anupam Kher and Sushmita Mukherjee) turn up wanting to drag her back to her suitable marriage. Much drama and comedy ensues before the end credits roll, but I shant tell you anymore. Suffice it to say that there is a very satisfactory ending…

Though I found it a fun romantic comedy with a cute lead pair and great cast (loved seeing my favorite telly actors Sushmita Mukherjee and Vandana Gupte), the more than generous helpings of un-reality grated at times. Since nobody with an Indian passport can cross the American border without dealing with numerous visa hassles (it can sometimes take upto three months to get a US visa!), I just cant swallow Priya and the Sethis’ merry excursions to the US of A. And then there was the Sethi mansion in Bombay that had a big garden attached to it. Did nobody tell the filmmakers that to have such a pad in Bombay, you need to be billionaire? Mr. Sethi was supposed to be a poor, hardworking, insurance salesman and hardly likely to be able to afford a Mannat-sized home!

On the plus side, I loved the vignettes of call-centre education. The “American Studies” instructor has the call-centre employees identifying pictures of American celebrities and checking their knowledge of the kind of burgers made by MacDonalds, Burger King, etc.! And when one employee asks to be transferred out of her New Jersey territory, she is tersely told that, “Everyone starts at New Jersey and works their way out.” Take that New Jersey!

All in all, its a cute romantic comedy and a perfect pick-me-up after a tiring day at work.

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Anari (1975)

Last week I saw Ghosts of Girlfriends Past and came away with the firm conviction that when it comes to being whacked over the head with a moral, I prefer my moral to come wrapped up in Hindi, with songs-n-dance, and 60s/70s fashion. Clearly, I needed to go back in time. While in the 70s, I happened to come across this Anari which is NOT the Raj Kapoor one, nor is it the more recent Karishma Kapoor one. Its a little known romantic thriller directed by Asit Sen and stars some of the most beautiful people of the 70s – Shashi Kapoor, Sharmila Tagore, Kabir Bedi and Moushumi Chatterji! Aside: There seem to be too many Anaris in the Kapoor clan! (Anari = inexperienced/silly)

Raja (Shashi Kapoor) is a charming layabout who spends most of his time hanging out with his cronies and refusing the less-than-honest employment offers of old friend Vikram (Kabir Bedi). When he isnt busy impressing a rich passerby - Arjun Malik (Utpal Dutt) - with his acting skills, he is spending quality time eyeing his beautiful neighbour Poonam (Sharmila Tagore). Poonam takes an equally keen interest in Raja’s doings and spends a lot of time dimpling at his antics. After some cute maneuvering on Raja’s part and much dimpling on Poonam’s part the two embark upon a romance.

All doesnt go smoothly for the lovers. From the beginning, the vast difference between his fantasies and hers (he imagines a cotton-saree-clad sindoor-adorned-wife while she dreams of glamorous clothes, jewels and fast cars) doesnt exactly portend compatibility. And trouble at home soon breaks up the burgeoning romance. Raja’s union-leader brother - Viren (Kader Khan) - is knifed during a strike, leaving Raja in the position of being the family’s sole breadwinner. Throw in the 70s staple of unemployment, vidhwa maa, and kunwaari behen (widowed mother and unmarried sister) and poor Raja is quite unhinged with worry.

Poonam has her own problems – a drunkard father and an ailing mother. As they say: when poverty knocks on the door, love goes out of the window. A series of misunderstandings later, Poonam is riding off into the sunset with Vikram on his bike, while Raja is enmeshed in a deadly web. I personally feel that Poonam is smitten with Vikram’s hot good looks (and who can blame her?) and the brokenhearted Raja’s judgment is severely impaired as a result. How else can you explain his acceptance of Arjun Malik’s offer?

Arjun offers Raja twenty grand to impersonate Amit Rai (Anil Dhawan) and romance his (Amit’s) affianced bride Rashmi (Moushumi Chatterji). The reason? Rashmi is the daughter of Arjun’s adoptive parents, Mr. and Mrs. Malik (Harindranath Chattopadhyay and Anita Guha). She was betrothed to Amit while both were children and they havent met as grown-ups because Amit has been living abroad. Grown up Amit has – unbeknownst to the Maliks - turned into quite a libertine and Arjun wishes to save Rashmi future heartbreak by getting her a substitute fiance!

Raja is clearly unhinged since he swallows the whole story and is more than willing to participate. He helps lure Amit into the clutches of Arjun’s men and then proceeds to impersonate Amit with great gusto. Rashmi is delighted with her fiance and Raja falls head-over-heels for her.

Now that he is firmly enmeshed in Arjun’s web and all set on the path of love, Raja finds out Arjun’s true designs. Anybody with a smidgen of common sense could have drawn a diagram of Arjun’s less-than-noble plans long before this. But common sense isnt all that common, after all. So, when it is too late to extricate himself, Raja realises that he is meant to murder Rashmi. If he doesnt, both Rashmi and Amit will be murdered by Arjun anyway, and he will be framed.

Poonam, in the meantime, has descended into bad-girl-hood with gay abandon. She lives openly with Vikram, drinks and dances with the best of them in Vikram’s club, is bitterly unhappy at her loss of respectability – all in the space of the few short weeks it takes Raja to woo Rashmi. Guess she is a fast girl in more ways than one!

Will Raja be able to rouse his sleeping brain and work his way out of his predicament? Will Rashmi’s fashions get more err… striking? Has Sharmila ever looked more glamorous in the 70s? Can I get to spend quality time with Kabir Bedi in his deliciously wicked club? Well, the movie can answer at least some of these questions…

I started out by talking about head-whacking-morality tales. Well this one has the usual moral baggage of 70s masala – dont do anything dishonest, dont fantasise about riches and glamorous lifestyles, dont live with a man before marriage (only applies to good girls), and DO NOT accept a ride on a motor-bike with Kabir Bedi!

Now that I have recapitulated the plot and all the plot-holes, I am beginning to wonder what it was about the movie that I liked so much, and I did like it a lot! Apart from the beautiful people, there was some cute romance – Raja-Poonam and Raja-Rashmi (unfair – he gets TWO romances!) were both cute – and the movie was pretty fast paced and absorbing. It was also less wacky and over-the-top compared to standard 70s masala-fare, with some interesting plot twists. So overall, I’d say it is a pretty good watch. Just remember to duck when the moral shovel hits, and DO NOT expect the characters to be too intelligent!

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Raaj Mahal (1982) – swashbuckling masala fun!

I chose this one with my usual meticulous care and eye for a good movie. In other words, I took one look at Vinod Khanna+Neetu Singh on the DVD cover, gave a fan-girl squee and rushed to buy it, not bothering about the synopsis or other cast members. In the event, my hope that Vinod+Neetu would make up for every deficiency in the film wasnt quite fulfilled. There werent that many deficiencies to overcome! Its a fast paced swashbuckler, full of beautiful people, lovely songs, thrilling twists, and of course, tons of swordfights.

Right from scene one, I knew I was going to love it. A wounded man (Kader Khan) riding hell-for-leather and carrying a baby on his back, succumbs to his wound, but not before he’s done his duty. He takes time off from his death throes to hand over his master’s son to a gypsy chieftain - Basha Khan (Om Shivpuri). The master was Maharaja Uday Singh of Ajaygarh, who’s been foully murdered by Durjan Singh (Amjad Khan). The child is Vikram Singh, the heir apparent. The loyal servant and the Maharani (Urmila Bhatt) escaped with two princes. After a chase and a savage sword fight, the number of princes was drastically reduced to one - the Maharani plus one son plunged into a river.

The appropriately named Durjan Singh (Durjan = bad man) and his assistant Zaalim Singh (Zaalim = cruel) scour the kingdom for the missing princes. One is believed drowned, while the other is saved by Basha Khan at the cost of his own son.

Durjan Singh goes on to have a long and cruel reign while Vikram is brought up in the gypsy clan and kept in ignorance of his heritage. He is given a lot of sword training, though, and grows up to be Vinod Khanna! Err… I meant Vinod Khanna plays the dispossessed crown prince and shows off in the sword fights to great advantage! (I cant help but wonder why swashbuckling heroes do not get shooting, or even archery training.)

Vikram’s swashbuckling training stands him in good stead when he tangles with the military escort of visiting princess Ratna (Neetu Singh) in an effort to save a helpless old man and woman. The princess takes one look at Vikram’s sword arm, and tells her soldiers to desist. In a traditional masala twist, the helpless old woman is none other than the former Maharani - his own mother! So she is alive?!! What about her other son?

As the cruelties of Durjan Singh against his people mount, Vikram Singh asks Basha Khan why he isnt allowed to fight the king. Basha Khan finally reveals the secret of Vikram’s parentage. An enraged Vikram decides to seek vengeance for his lost family. He sneaks into the palace to murder Durjan Singh. Alas, Durjan Singh is well supplied with security precautions and Vikram has to retreat in some disorder. While escaping from the palace guards, he finds temporary shelter in Ratna’s quarters.

Ratna not only saves him from the palace guards, she also tells him her sad story. Durjan Singh wants to annex her father’s kingdom by forcing a marriage between her and his son Veer Singh (Jagdeep). Vikram pledges to help her out and promises her a princely hand in marriage. Ratna would, of course, be quite content with Vikram Singh!

A chastened Vikram returns home where Basha Khan’s wiser counsel prevails. He is persuaded to win over both the king and his oppressed people, alike, before trying to claim the throne. As Vikram the brave knight, he wins over everybody with his fighting prowess in a chariot-fight-tournament. He also wins Durjan Singh’s trust by rescuing Ratna from Daaku Sangram Singh (Danny), who turns up to fight at the same tournament.

The grateful Durjan Singh hires Vikram to give Veer Singh fighting tutorials. Since Veer Singh is more interested in the company of his wife-to-be – Ratna - than in tutorials with Vikram, the two lovers get to spend time with each other while the gullible Veer thinks his romance is going forward!

Through all this, Vikram hasnt forgotten his vengeance. Basha Khan and he decide to organise an armed resistance and to finance it through Durjan’s treasury! They kidnap Ratna in the name of Daaku Sangram Singh. Durjan Singh selects Vikram to deliver the ransom. When Sangram hears of this, he decides to investigate. Sangram and Vikram end up collaborating on an elaborate scheme to defraud Durjan Singh of some more of his ill-gotten wealth.

But is a Daaku to be trusted with matters of national importance? Will Durjan find out that the heir he thought dead would come back for his pound of flesh? Can Vinod+Neetu look any prettier? Will Vinod’s tight pants stop blood circulation in his limbs? Go visit Ajaygarh and find out. While there, dont forget to check out Vinod-Neetu romancing on the water front: Mere pyaar ki awaaz pe.

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I am still around!

Those of you wondering whether I’ve taken a trip in my favorite time-machine and gotten trapped in the past, needn't wonder any more. I did go back to  the 70s and 80s briefly, but for the most part I’ve been very much stuck in the present - working and traveling! I have managed to get some serious movie watching done in the past few weeks and will resume posting soon. In the meantime, here’s a sneak-peek at my next post:

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Dhund (1973) – murder in the mist

I had vague memories of watching this murder mystery years ago and enjoying it. But my memories hadnt prepared me for the dramatic fog (Dhund) of mystery that envelopes the film, or for all the stunningly beautiful people with homicidal tendencies that inhabit the fog-ridden world of this film!

Onward with the story… On a misty mountain road, a car meets with an accident and the driver, Shekhar (Navin Nischol), knocks on the door of the nearest house to get help. He finds the door unlocked and decides to walk in. Inside, he discovers the murdered master of the house - Ranjit Singh (Danny Denzongpa) - and the murderer holding the proverbial smoking gun. This is how good murder mysteries should begin. :-D When the camera moves to show the murderer, I’m not surprised that ‘he’ is a gorgeous woman – the script requires it! To make matters even more interesting, the gorgeous woman turns out to be none other than Ranjit Singh’s long-suffering wife Rani (Zeenat Aman).

Rani tells a tale of years of relentless persecution that culminated in a fight where a loaded gun went off accidentally, and the persecutor became the victim. Moved by her tale of woe, Shekhar decides to help her escape a murder rap (who wouldnt want to slay dragons for such a beautiful damsel-in-distress?!). A plea of self-defence occurs to neither of them! O wait, maybe self-defence is a modern phenomenon and didnt occur in the 1970s?

Shekhar and Rani concoct a tale of a fictitious break-in to explain Ranjit’s murder by an unknown outsider and also contrive to give Rani an alibi. Things go smoothly for the conspirators. The body is duly discovered by the house-maid, Radha, whose screams summon the rest of the household. Shekhar makes his re-entry as a car-wrecked stranger seeking help, and calls in the police. The law-enforcement turns up in full force with Inspector Joshi (Madan Puri), Inspector Bakshi (Jagdish Raj) and several others. (Its re-assuring to know that even at midnight, police stations are so full of policemen!)

When the police begin the questioning, Shekhar hands over the murder weapon with the story of picking it up after colliding with a man running out of the house. He claims to be unable to describe the stranger as the mist hid the latter almost completely. The police find the “evidence” of robbery but are convinced that its an inside job. They begin to look for the murderer in Ranjit Singh’s own household. And the more they learn about Ranjit Singh and his family, the more suspects they find!

Ranjit Singh was the most menacing and black-hearted villain ever to grace a murder mystery. He lost his legs in a hunting accident, but this handicap did not hamper him in his villainy. He drove his delicate half-brother mad by his continual harassment, while his step-mother (Urmila Bhatt) was forced to look on helplessly. He antagonised the servants and the neighbours by using them for target practise!

There was only person Ranjit Singh seemed to get along with. And that was Suresh (Sanjay Khan) – a lawyer and budding politician - who played chess with him everyday. This friendship didnt last long though, as Suresh and Rani fell in love and wanted to get married. Ranjit Singh had no intention of freeing Rani, and threatened to ruin Suresh’s political career by creating a scandal.

So, in true Agatha Christie fashion, the scene is set for a domestic murder with the household and Suresh as suspects. Further investigation centres the suspicion on Suresh as he has – a) motive: Ranjit Singh was threatening to ruin his life, b) opportunity: he visited Ranjit Singh around the time of the murder, and, c) was probably the man seen fleeing from the house by Shekhar. Poor Shekhar – in trying to extricate Rani he’s managed to implicate an innocent man! Or has he? Things arent all they appear to be. Was Rani’s admission a cover-up to save Suresh? Will Shekhar persist in his false testimony? Will Ashok Kumar save the day? Will Suresh reveal a hitherto unknown sartorial crime? I’d tell you more but the film-makers requested me not to reveal the end!

Dhund is an old fashioned murder mystery in the best Agatha Christie tradition, and is done pretty well. But no Bollywood murder mystery, not even one made by B. R. Chopra (as this one is), is complete without the obligatory plot-holes and forensic irregularities. The one that made my Law And Order indoctrinated brain scream in horror was Rani and Shekhar manufacturing evidence with no thought to finger-prints! Of course, there is also a murder trial that follows no known legal procedures of any country - but that is again mandatory in a good murder mystery!

On the plus side (and there are many pluses in this film), is the nice soundtrack. I love the title song - Sansar ki har shay ka – and Zeenat’s piano number - Uljhan suljhe na - while the two dance numbers - Jo yahan tha woh wahan and Jubna se chunariya - are also pleasant. More on the plus side is the cast - its overflowing with some very good looking people. Sanjay Khan, Naveen Nischol and Zeenat Aman were at their beautiful best, here, and Danny at his scariest! One more plus – a married woman gets to commit adultery and isnt given a lecture on womanly honor and duty. YAY!!!!

Minor quibbles apart, Dhund is a taut, suspenseful, mystery drama and as such, gets the OiG’s murder-mystery-thumbs-up!

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Bollywood, its payback time!

Work and Mr. Darcy have been keeping me busy for the past few days. Yes MR. DARCY, Elizabeth Bennet’s Mr Darcy. You wont believe the things he gets up to when he isnt silently mooning over or proposing to Elizabeth. He gets acquainted with women of dubious morals, consorts with spies, gets drunk, fences, and even boxes! You cant imagine how eventful his life is, and just how much of my time its taken to catch-up with it – not unless you’ve read Pamela Aidan’s Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman series. I’ve just finished the last one in the series – These Three Remain – and cant wait to read the earlier two titles!

Back to filmi-fun - I have come across an interesting case of copyright violation that I’d like to share with you:

Gullermo del Toro reminded Desi-Hellboy of how often Bollywood has “borrowed” from Hollywood, and told him that it was payback time!

Do any of you know who Desi-Hellboy is? Bonus points for guessing the name of the movie as well!

Edited later in the day: Filmi Girl and AJ correctly identified Desi Hellboy as writer/director/producer/actor O P Ralhan and the film as Hulchul. Its an interesting thriller full of some very good looking people - young Prem Chopra, very young and very dashing Kabir Bedi (in a bad wig, though), Padma Khanna in some great costumes and Helen looking lovely as always. It would have been a great movie if only Ralhan hadnt given in to the temptation to cast himself in a major role (in the worst wig EVER!). Check out Filmi Girl’s fun review for plot details and some great screencaps.

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A year of blogging – a journey down memory lane

Exactly one year ago, today, I published my first blog post. Yes, Old is Gold is a year old today! I think the occasion calls for a story - the story of a film-buff’s journey in the blogging world.

Once upon a time, long ago (just 18 months in calendar years but centuries in terms of experience), there lived a bollyviewer who was completely ignorant of blogs and blog-writing. Yes doston, I am talking about ME! While still in this world of ignorance, I decided to look for old movies online. My search for old Shashi Kapoor films kept turning up one blog so often that I gave in and read it. And stayed to read, and read, and read…

Yes, it was the excellent Beth Loves Bollywood, whose love of Bollywood is legendary and finds expression in very thoughtful, well-written and very, very enjoyable film critiques. I read Beth’s reviews and was hooked on reading blogs! When I wasnt cracking up at her playful musings, Beth made me think hard, with her insightful commentaries.

From Beth’s blog, I discovered The Post Punk Cinema Club. “Their” thought-provoking and irreverently humorous film reviews and projects had me chuckling, and waiting for more! I’ve learnt about world cinema from “them” and continue to have a lot of fun doing so!

My next discovery was Memsaab Story – my personal filmi heaven! Memsaab not only loves old Hindi movies more than I do, she’s a walking encyclopedia of Bollywood trivia (especially of the vintage Bollywood variety) and I cant wait for her to review “new” oldies!

Carla’s Filmi Geek was another delightful discovery in blogland. Her thoughtful and beautifully written film reviews of Hindi movies, both old and new, had me wanting to revisit old favorites and watch some new ones, too!

Apni East India Company How can one resist a name like that? But that isnt all. Shweta’s East India Company brings you the most exotic of old and new movies, and her hilarious commentaries will even tempt you to watch really, REALLY, bad movies!

All these awesome blogs had me hooked on to reading and commenting on filmi-topics. From there, the next step - writing my own filmi-blog - was inevitable. So, bhaaiyon aur behno, thats how OiG came into exisetence. But that was just the beginning, not THE END. In the past year, I’ve discovered so many other great blogs.

Dusted Off – Cinema the way used to be - This lovely blog really does chronicle cinema the way it used to be – both Hollywood and Bollywood style. And the icing on the cake is Dustedoff’s superb taste in hunks! Its my favorite place to hang-out online, whenever I need a dose of some nice oldies. :-D

Banno, Dhanno and Teja - a filmi blog by a real-life film maker. Needles to say, the reviews, the art, and the writing are all superb and I learn new things everytime I visit!

Paisa Vasool (Or Not) – Ajnabi not only writes the most delightful film reviews, she also writes film-scripts. Yes really! Check out her latest release - its totally paisa vasool.

Antarra’s Ramblings – She doesnt post often (not as often as I’d like!) but her reviews are worth the wait. She has a way with story-telling and her captions for the screencaps are hilarious. Check her Aadmi post for an excellent example of how even Dilip Kumar in full-blown tragedian mode can raise a few laughs!

Filmi-Girl Falling for Bollywood! – With her around, we dont need Filmfare or Stardust to keep abreast of the latest in Bollywood! :-D I also love her awesome podcasts on filmi-music and her fun reviews.

Roti Kapda Aur Rum – the founder of Masala Pradesh has done years worth of research in her very young life. Rum’s fun blog is the last stop for any masala query, the Ask Jeeves for Bollywood-masala. From facial hair, to blobbiness, BollyHollyMusicalitis to Anil indoctrination – if its masala, Rum HAS IT!

theBollywoodFan wears many hats – Lagaan ambassador in North America, translator extraordinaire, music lover and [my favorite, this] a lover of Hindi oldies! I love reading his refreshing views on my favorite vintage movies and good new ones.

Bitten By Bollywood – Nida really has been bitten by the Bollywood bug and the result is a blog full of delightful, well-written and beautifully illustrated film reviews. I love reading her thoughtful insights, peppered with her fun comments, on movies old and new.

Dances On The Foot Path – I’ve spent many delightful hours on Richard’s blog, getting acquainted with lovely old songs from 40s-60s, and getting re-acquainted with some forgotten favorites. He has a knack for digging up the best and (sometimes) obscure songs and dance numbers from the B/W era, and I’ve learnt a lot about dancer-actresses (especially Padmini and Kamala) from his great blog.

Hmong Chick Who Loves Indian Cinema – Nicki’s colorful and marvelously illustrated (there are sooooo many beautiful screencaps) blog brings the 80s to the blogging world – and this time round, it even sounds like fun! And did I mention that this blog’s other name should be Eye-Candy Central? :-D

So the journey continues… with discovery of more great blogs, more filmi-writing and lots more filmi-discussions yet to come. Its been a great filmi-fun filled year and also a big learning experience. I’ve begun to notice set-designs and costumes in movies. I’ve even started taking notice of extras/actors in tiny parts (I can recognise some faces in back-up dancers from the 60s!) – all thanks to you fellow-bloggers! And I’ve had fun discussing films with all you film-buffs (bloggers as well as non-blogging commenters).

Thanks a lot for reading and commenting on OiG. Here’s to more filmi-fun in the coming year!

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