The holiday season is upon us - the season of goodwill, the season of Christmas parties, and the season of sub-arctic weather here in Canada. Time for the daaru to begin flowing freely. Naturally, being a good Bhartiya naari, I never touch daaru, but in the right company, I don’t mind drinking it! And the right company can only be other good Bhartiya naaris like me. In other words, they must be good girls because I think that wicked women are just too blasé about everything to enjoy their vices like a good girl can. Considering how many great Bhartiya Naaris Bollywood churns out every year, Hindi films are the best place to find good girls for a pub crawl. But will the good girls agree to imbibe alcohol? Amazingly enough, I found TEN potential drink buddies…
1. Asha (Asha Parekh) from Ziddi,1964
Now here is a woman who knows how to hold her drink. She is drunk enough to dance in company, drunk enough to horrify all her near and dear ones – and yet, she still sings like Lata Mangeshkar with ne’er a note out of place. I wonder if she’ll be able to drive as well as she can sing-n-dance after a few pegs of the best. If yes, then she’ll be the designated driver of our bunch of drink bandis*.
* bandi = girl/gal.
2. Neena (Leela Naidu) from Yeh Raaste Hain Pyar Ke (1963)
Neena is clearly not happy with the cocktail. Perhaps she’s bothered by the fact that it was stirred and not shaken? Umm… Neena, I would stick to quality wines, preferably Dom Perignon. It’s costly but totally worth it. Or you could just find another bar tender whose cocktails wouldn’t make you so sad. On the other hand, who am I to stop the flow of such melodious melancholy?
3. Anarkali (Bina Rai) from Anarkali, (1953)
Anarkali is a straight case for the X-files and I think their team should investigate her unusual affliction as soon as possible. LOVE has intoxicated her! Can you believe that?! Not me. I think it must be alien parasites producing alcohol in her blood, leading to this strange inability to walk straight. Anarkali’s blood analysis might just solve the mystery of life in outer space, once and for all… Of course, we must be prepared to find that there is a very mundane reason for her current state – she is in shock 'coz she just found out that she loves
Pradeep Kumar Shehzaada Salim!
4. Seema (Asha Parekh) from Pyar Ka Mausam, (1969)
Now don’t misunderstand her – Seema is a good girl, she is! She is only drunk (and in fancy dress) because she had a very difficult task to perform. She had to tell Shashi Kapoor that he cannot hope to look forward to a long and happy life with her. Quite right Seema. I'd have to get drunk to impart such heartbreaking news, too… Shall we go to the Irish pub to drown your sorrows?
5. Nisha (Neetu Singh) from Khel Khel Mein (1976)
Nisha never meant to touch intoxicating substances, but what could she do? She’d met this neat Kapoor and he had to be shown how to hold his drink! And when the guy started babbling about open love, naturally he had to be shown that she was ahead of him all the way. Atta girl! Nisha. Show him how to do it stylishly… (Kullam khula pyar karenge)
6. Reeta (Sadhana) from Intaquam (1969)
Reeta has been sorely wronged and has very just cause for complaint. A rich party and plenty of daaru, yet she hasn’t been allowed to take her fair share of it! What’s girl to do when the teetotaller hubby refuses a second drink? Tunefully ask for more, of course! Reeta, Oliver Twist did not get his second helping, and your chances at the party seem no better. How 'bout joining me in the pub with the rest of the gang? I will make sure that you get all the daaru you want, and you won’t even have to sing for it!
7. Jamila (Nutan) from Dil Hi To Hai (1963)
Another Kapoor who’s let a good girl astray! Jamila would never have dreamed of imbibing hiccup-inducing substances if it hadn’t been for the Kapoor company she fell into. Jamila turn back before it’s too late. Return to your favourite wines. If you want something stronger, why not try an authentic margharita (not the crushed ice variety)? It’s guaranteed to never bring on the hiccups. Plus, if you join the drink bandis, you will never have to listen to Mukesh sing!
8. Neelu (Mumtaz) from Jheel Ke Us Paar (1973)
We need to help Neelu! She has been captured by and EVIL man (Anwar Hussain) who is making the poor blind girl dance for every sip of sharaab. Hey Ram! What is the world coming to? A girl is no longer free to sip her favourite tipple?! Hang in there Neela. We’re on our way with several baatlis of some great Chianti and some Dom Perignon.
9. Roma (Babita) from Kismat (1968)
Friends, here is another woman in deep distress. Vicky (Biswajit) has driven her to filmi-drunk-itis. Note the exaggerated stagger? The disgust with the drink supplied? The well-enunciated Asha Bhosle sounds issuing from the lips? No doubt about it. The girl is in desperate need of a good drink – none of this yellow-tea-flavoured cocktails for her. Fikar not, Roma. Come hang out with us – out here a friend in need gets a good drink indeed!
10. Anu (Parveen Babi) from Suhaag (1979)
Yet another woman in need... Anu thought she was going to a pub, and then she finds herself with Shashi Kapoor! No wonder the poor girl is confused and can’t even remember her name or address. Anu, I’m coming to rescue you right away. And no, we won’t trouble the rest of the gang. I’m sure I can tackle this Kapoor for you without any help. You just go repair your lipstick while I take care of the Kapoor in the car…
Happy Holidays to all of you! And remember, eat responsibly (no more than 1lbs of chocolates per day) and drink only the good stuff. See you again in 2011.